Some Reservations about the Cemetery

Visiting the Ross Bay Cemetery this weekend, has had a lasting effect on my mind, thoughts, and heart this past couple of days.  To complete our monument analysis our group drove to the cemetery together in one car. The atmosphere was light and conversational even though we were discussing item we would personally place in our own graves.  United by our enrolment in the Archaeology of Death, the topic was not depressing but sentimental and at times humorous.  When we ventured out of the car and passed into the cemetery a noticeable shift occurred within the groups conversation and mood.  Although it was a sunny afternoon, and the light through the trees was peaceful not foreboding I was vividly aware of my location.  The experience was sobering.  

I wasn't upset at being surrounded by human burials.  I was concerned by my own actions.  I was aware that I had chosen to wear sweat pants and not something more formal.  I didn't want my presence to upset someone visiting the cemetery for a more personal reason than a school project.  While we were walking between the rows of graves I became aware that I was carefully navigating my way between places I imaged people to be buried.  I didn't want to step on someone! I didn't want to disrespect them.  Furthermore, as I read the gravestones I began to wonder about the lives of the people who were buried there.  Was I delving inappropriately into their private lives? Did these people want strangers wondering about their lives and pitying them in their death? What would happen if a descendant came and saw me looking at the grave, would they be offended?

I wasn't sure which of the graves we surveyed had the greatest effect on me.  It might have been the twin brothers who were buried together, one who died as a child and one as an old man.  Or it might have been the hardly marked Baby Turae.  I wasn't sure if it was better to know more or less.  I wondered if these individuals would have minded that we included them in our study.  Would their descendant’s mind; or considering most of them were children, would their parents? Would I feel better if I had flowers to leave on these graves? I didn't want to consider these individuals as survey subjects, it seemed entirely inappropriate.  Just as it seemed entirely inappropriate to sneak a look into some of the cracking graves.  Is it acceptable at all to use these individuals in a study without their consent?  This brings into question the entire field of archaeology.  How would the Egyptians feel if they knew we had removed them from their pyramids and now they had no chance of making it to the afterlife?  Are people entitled to their rights after they die? Without excavating the graves of the past would we be able to untangle the mysteries of the ancient times.  


What is more valuable morals or knowledge?  

Repeating apologies in my head to both the resting dead and the people who might come to visit them, I began to wonder why humans have decided to intern our dead in places surrounded by so many rules and despondency.  It seems apparent to me that as a species we have created the mood present within cemeteries.  Do we live in so much fear of death that we have to fence of the areas we bury our loved ones? However, I would rather celebrate a life than mourn it (but that’s just me).   


My friend Jamie has always told me he wants to have a picnic over his Grandfathers grave one day.  Would this change the mood within the cemetery?  Would it be appropriate?  How would people perceive it? As we wondered through the graves, I continued to ask myself if I could have picnic in this cemetery.  Although the question seemed inappropriate to me, I thought the act would be nice.  I considered that if I was buried in the cemetery I would want my friends and family or strangers to enjoy the nice space and eat a meal above me.  I would prefer to know people were enjoying themselves, not afraid of offending me.  I think I would personally  enjoy the company of living instead of the solitude of death.

Is this the best way to honour and respect the dead?

Would an image like this, of a respectful and memorable picnic offend others visiting the Cemetery? The ladies are not disrupting anyone or creating an inappropriate scene.   Would the picnic be more acceptabe if they women were dressed formally in black?  How can we outline what practices are acceptable and the ones which are not? 

As Leonardo Di Vinci once said "as a well-spend day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death" (Quote DB 2011) Is it possible that dressing inappropriately or conducting a survey could disturb an individuals happy death?  Would a picnic encourage their peaceful sleep or could it agitate the dead?  Are we really gone when we're dead?

References:
Quote DB, 2011. Life and Death. [Online] (Updated  20 January 2011) Available at: http://www.quotedb.com/categories/life-and-death/2 [Accessed 8 February 2011]

Image Credit:
Pascua, Daniel F., 2011. Deconcrete: Everyday Urbanism without architects architecture. [Online] (Updated 14 February 2011) Available at: http://www.deconcrete.org/category/derive/ [Accessed 15 March 2011]